Ah, the joys of hosting a transformational destination retreat! Picture it: serene landscapes, the scent of incense in the air, and a group of eager participants ready to dive deep into personal growth. Everything is perfect… until you encounter that ONE “PITA” participant who seems determined to throw a wrench in your peace and tranquility. 🤪

But fear not! Here are ten effective strategies to handle that challenging participant, ensuring everyone (including you!!) has a transformative experience

1. Private Conversation: First things first, pull that participant aside for a private chat. Approach with a smile and say something like this: “Are you open to a little coaching?” Listen to their concerns and gently explain how their behavior is impacting the group. Sometimes, a little empathy and understanding can work wonders. Make sure when you do this that you’ve worked out your side of the equation meaning this; have you gotten clear on why this person is tweaking YOU? Your energy needs to be 100% clear before approaching them.

2. Set Clear Expectations: Kick off your retreat by clearly outlining the rules and expectations. Think of it as setting the stage for a harmonious experience. Let everyone know what’s cool and what’s not. It’s like giving them a roadmap to an awesome retreat. That way, if someone becomes out of line – you can refer back to the original rules you set for your retreat!

3. Assign a Role: Assign the troublesome participant a special role. Maybe they can be the “Zen Master” responsible for keeping the meditation space serene or the “Energy Enthusiast” leading a group stretch. Feeling useful can shift their behavior from disruptive to delightful.

4. Offer Extra Support: Sometimes, disruptive behavior is just a cry for help. Offer extra support and guidance to help them navigate the retreat. A little extra TLC might be all they need to turn things around. We have no idea what folks are struggling with. So taking the time to find out, will help you be able to address the REAL issue behind the behavior.

5. Create Boundaries: Set clear boundaries with a sprinkle of kindness. If their behavior continues to disrupt, let them know what’s not acceptable and what the consequences will be. Boundaries are like the bumpers in a bowling alley—they keep everything rolling smoothly

​6. Involve Them in Group Activities: Encourage group activities that require teamwork. When the participant feels like part of a collaborative effort, they’re less likely to act out. Plus, teamwork makes the dream work, right?

7. Schedule Breaks: Ensure there are plenty of breaks for everyone to relax and recharge. Sometimes, all that’s needed to curb disruptive behavior is a bit of downtime. Let them unwind and come back refreshed. It’s easy to over-schedule folks on a retreat, after all we want to share everything and do everything. But I promise, this is NOT a good strategy!!

8. Seek Peer Support: Pair the difficult participant with a more patient and understanding retreat-goer. Sometimes, positive peer influence can be more powerful than anything you could say or do.

9. Offer One-on-One Sessions: Offer one-on-one sessions where the participant can express their feelings and receive personal guidance. A bit of individual attention can transform their retreat experience from frustrating to fulfilling. You could also do a group share asking what folks are struggling with so people can air their feelings – but make the session so folks cannot comment back. It is simply to acknowledge feeling that you can follow up with privately with them if needed.

10. Consider Removal: As a last resort, if the participant’s behavior is seriously affecting the group, you might need to ask them to leave. Do it respectfully and explain why it’s necessary. It’s a tough call, but sometimes the greater good of the group must come first. I’ve had to do this only once since I started creating and managing retreats in 2000. The woman had issues that no amount of talking could resolve and so the best way to keep the retreat vibe beautiful was to tell them that this retreat is not for them and they are welcome to stay at the retreat center, but they are no longer part of this retreat. Difficult for sure – but a critical action to keep the peace.

The bottom line? Managing a difficult participant is just one of the many adventures retreat leaders all have to deal with. With a sprinkle of compassion, a dash of creativity, and a whole lot of patience, you can ensure a harmonious and enriching experience for everyone involved.

Remember, even the toughest nuts 🌰 can crack and reveal the sweetest heart.

Post below and share your experience – I’d love to hear! 💝