I’ve had my share of “Oh sh@t!” moments on retreats.

There was the first time a normally quiet and collected client became completely hysterical, angry and screaming loudly in public… when a participant revealed she’d been molested by a family member… when more than one person was flopping on the ground from an energy overdose… when the biggest badass in the group was pissed about how I handled a situation and called me out on it in front of the room…

And then there was the time when I was completely lost, after dark, with my group, locked inside Macchu Picchu. (Luckily some llamas and a hefty tip got me out of that situation!)

Oh sh@t indeed!

Retreats encourage us as facilitators to stand in our power and step outside of our normally daily routine and skillset. Facilitating retreats invites us to overcome our own doubts and fears, as well as given the chance to deepen and expand our teachings.

Even the most skilled coach or healer who’s dealt with all manner of situations in 1:1 work or even in smaller workshops can be thrown off guard and start to doubt their ability to handle group dynamics or the unusual and unexpected occurrences that only crop up on retreats – whether they are logistical or emotional.

Transformational retreats are an intimate experience often in foreign environments – ones that bring up emotion as you challenge (gently I trust) your clients to grow and evolve.

And while most folks like the idea of becoming happier, more successful [or insert your retreat promise here], what often shows up when confronted with the opportunity to change is doubt, fear, anger, sadness or confusion.

And that’s not just in the participants!

When asked, “What’s holding you back from moving forward with your retreat? The top issues that most commonly come up are:

• I’m afraid of the all the responsibility of facilitating a retreat…
• I’m not sure I’m experienced enough to pull off a stellar retreat or…
• I lack self-confidence.

Gracefully facilitating a group on a retreat is a fine skill that you develop by throwing yourself in the fire and putting yourself in front of a group. Being able to lead your clients through a transformative process with success can truly make or break your retreat.

Educating yourself on how to be the best leader possible before you go on your retreat can make a huge difference in your comfort level and your clients’ experience and satisfaction.

So here are my Top 10 Tips for Facilitating a World-Class Retreat. And they work for high-end masterminds, online group programs, LIVE retreats, group intensives, teacher trainings, and even with 1-on-1 clients, too.

1. Safety First.

The safety I’m talking about here isn’t the physical hardhat kind, but rather creating an emotionally safe space for your group. As the reservations start to come in, I often visualize a bubble filled with beautiful light enveloping the group and I envision myself “holding space” for each individual.

So before heading off to meet your group on location, connect with each person on either a group call or 1:1. Welcome and assure them they will be well taken care of during your time together. Clearly state that what happens on a retreat, stays on the retreat. Create a safe energetic container for growth and transformation.

2. Lay Down the Law.

Don’t go all hard-ass on me, but do step into that leadership role from the first time you gather as a group. Set the expectations – what are acceptable behaviors? Who should your peeps turn to if they have a problem or issue? What’s normal on your retreat as far as emotions and “stuff” coming up?

What are the ground rules? What are the do’s and don’ts of the country you are in? Do you expect your folks to attend all events and meals or can they go off on their own? Think through the logistical information that needs to be communicated and make sure the your behavioral expectations are clearly laid out.

3. Lay Out a Retreat to BE a Retreat.

A retreat isn’t a workshop in a pretty place full of content-heavy days. Instead balance out your teachings with experiential activities (and even ceremonies if you’re on a sacred retreat). Make sure that there’s downtime built into each day so that your folks have a chance to relax, integrate and process what they are experiencing.

Build the energy slowly – don’t jump in and ask highly intimate questions the first time you gather as a group. Give people time to warm up to each other and you. And give yourself the flexibility to embrace what happens in the moment. Some of the best magic that happens on your retreat isn’t going to necessarily adhere to the schedule you laid out beforehand!

4. Less is More.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen newbie retreat leaders try to cram absolutely everything they’ve learned in their own process over the last 10-20 years into a 5-7 day retreat. They’re so excited to share EVERYTHING they know and make a really valuable experience for their participants that they overwhelm their people, exhaust themselves and make everyone wish for a vacation after they return home.

Carefully plan out each day so you cover a realistic amount of material. Then make sure you offer a follow-up program (could be a check-in teleclass series, individual or group coaching programs, or online program) that relates to what you just taught so your people can have support in integrating and implementing your material into their lives back home – and you aren’t constantly struggling to find new clients.

5. Care for the Herd.

Group work is powerful and learning can happen exponentially within groups – if you prioritize the need of the group as a whole over the need of any one individual. There’s often a squeaky wheel who wants more attention, an energy vampire who seems to suck all the life and momentum out of the room or a know-it-all who wants to chime in every two seconds.

Tracking the group’s energy and how each one-on-one interaction relates to the groups’ progress and understanding of your teachings keeps you from getting bogged down with individual stories and comments that aren’t moving your material forward. Steer your group in the direction that supports your overall objectives and relate individual experiences back to the bigger picture, highlighting what points you want to make.

6. Welcome the Disturbance to the Force Field.

I’ve had nightmares about being challenged in front of the whole group, having someone walk out on me, or having a completely resistant and uncooperative client. The ninja cure?

Welcome that disturbance (don’t resist it!)

Whenever transformation is present, you can bet that resistance is too. It’s human nature. So the secret trick is to acknowledge it and share your appreciation for vocalizing what’s present within the room. Nothing’s classier than a retreat leader who communicates, “I get it. This is normal. This is a chance to grow and learn.”

Perfect responses to agitated folks?

“Of course you’re frustrated – what we’re working on here is deep and life-changing. Who else in the room is feeling this way?” 

“Thank you SO MUCH for being brave enough to admit that. Raise your hand if you can relate.” 

“Chris is voicing how many of us are feeling right now. Don’t you agree?”

Resistance dissipates when you don’t give it any energy to push against. So open wide.

7. Up Your Emotional Intelligence.

I’ll be willing to bet that emotion is going to fly at some point on your retreat. Whether someone’s upset at you for the quality of the hotel room or your process triggered a deeper wound or issue for them, you are going to have to know how to handle emotion. Yet most of us were not given an education in acknowledging, accepting and embracing emotion growing up and not all coaching programs address this either.

Make sure you have a system or skill-set on how to process your people emotionally – whether it’s a breathing or therapeutic technique, EFT, or other modality. And remember – you are only as comfortable with another person’s emotion as you are with your own so make sure you’ve also worked on accepting and processing your own emotion as well.

8. Trust the whisper.

All of us have a way of accessing our intuition or inner knowing – whether it’s that quiet whisper within, a gut feeling, visions or images. For years, I would hear a voice whispering the perfect words to say or directing me where to go next and if it didn’t make sense to my rational mind, I would ignore it. I would debate whether it was my mind or intuition speaking. Yet it would repeat the words or instructions over and over in a loop until finally I’d blurt out whatever it was saying.

It took a long time before I trusted myself enough to speak aloud whatever it said immediately – and when I did, the process was faster, more effective and dazzlingly accurate. Beyond all your training, certificates, diplomas or credentials, there’s a deep wisdom and knowing within that can guide your group if only you have the courage to listen to it.

9. Bring your authority, conviction and confidence.

Nothing is sexier in a facilitator than authority, conviction and confidence. Everyone in the room can sense it when the leader has presence, when you are speaking from your heart and experience and know what you say to be true with the core of your being. Of course there are going to be moments when you don’t know an answer to a question or aren’t sure what direction to go. And yet I’ll never forget the time when a master teacher asked me a question as the assistant facilitator that I didn’t know how to answer.

I answered truthfully and admitted that I didn’t know and would have to sit with it. He then pointed out to the group how I had retained my authority by speaking my truth and not being afraid to appear vulnerable in that moment. So don’t speak from your butt. Pause. Be real. Be confident. And admit when you don’t know something.

10. Be Switzerland.

An expert retreat leader knows how to be calm, cool and collected in any bizarre situation you find yourself in. If a participant tees off on you, don’t take it personally. You are not the source of their issue (even if it feels like it). Having a clear head will enable you to come up with a better solution that if you get triggered and your emotion clouds your ability to think clearly and respond calmly. Maintain your professionalism and make a note to deal with whatever emotions come up within you later.

Know thyself – and your triggers so you have a better chance of responding rather than reacting. Make sure you take the time for self-care on the trip. You won’t be of benefit to anyone if you are tired, cranky or out of sorts. And pre-plan a support network that you can turn to while on the trip – whether it’s a trusted assistant or co-facilitator, a friend or mentor who you can call back home or our private Facebook group where you can check in with us.

Wow!

There’s nothing more exciting that watching your group bond and to witness individuals having massive breakthroughs right before your eyes. So make sure you add a few more of these tips into your tool belt and you’ll be head and shoulders above most retreat facilitators. Your participants will thank you – and your reputation for facilitating world-class retreats will grow!

What’s your top tip for facilitating a group on a retreat? Which of my top 10 tips are you going to implement in your next retreat? Make a comment below, I’d love to hear from you!

To your wanderlust life, Sheri

Looking to add a powerful experience to your next retreat?

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Dr Sheri Rosenthal is known as one of the most sought after retreat strategists for coaches, speakers, and authors — and is the owner of Journeys of the Spirit Travel®, a boutique agency specializing in the planning and management of group travel.

Through her Wanderlust Entrepreneur Community and her signature course, The Retreat Blueprint Program, she has taught thousands of facilitators how to design exceptional retreats that allow them stand out in their niche. She is famous for helping clients plan, fill, and profit from transformational retreats that change lives in a huge way while adding serious income to their bottom lin